You talkin’ to me?

I get to meet some incredible people as a celebrant. I find after I meet a new couple I usually end up hopping around our living room, exuberantly telling Dave that I just met an AMAZING couple who are SO cool and I want them to be our FRIENDS! I’m a very lucky girl to be able to interact with so many wonderful people on a regular basis.

What I’ve realised lately is that as well as being generally awesome, the couples I marry have been raised well. It seems that many of them were taught by their parents that you look at people when they’re talking to you. Rightly so. It’s a way of demonstrating that you’re listening to and interested in what someone has to say. And it’s (almost) always appropriate.

I may be going against years of etiquette and have Emily Post rolling over in her grave, but I’m going to stick my neck out right now and give you permission to break this rule.

The one time when you can get away with not looking at someone who’s talking to you? Your wedding ceremony.

Red Butterfly Photography

Lately I’ve noticed that many brides and grooms look at me throughout their ceremony instead of each other. It isn’t because they don’t want to look at one another, rather a result of conditioning. As the celebrant, I do most of the talking in a ceremony and as per polite convention, the bride and groom will often fix their gaze on me. (I told you they were well-raised).

But relax. You don’t have to look at me. I won’t be offended, I promise. Although I read the ceremony, I am not the centre of it. I’m simply the teller of a story that is ultimately about you and your partner. Just as with a good book, the focus should never be on the narrator but on what’s at the heart of the story.

Red Butterfly Photography

You only have one wedding ceremony. (Well, unless you’re this couple but most people aren’t). Absorb what’s happening around you and most of all, share it with your partner. Do this through eye contact, holding hands or wiping away a stray tear on your partner’s face – whatever works for you as a couple.

After all, when the ceremony is over and you’re married, which memory is going to move you more? I bet a recollection of the beaming grin that spread across your partner’s face as you said ‘I do’ beats the memory of the way the celebrant’s mouth moved. Hands down.

Red Butterfly Photography

Which is just as it should be.

xx Koren

Photos displayed in this post are by Red Butterfly Photography.

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